Congratulations PLAYER 1: NOVEMBER

NOVEMBER 28, 2020

(7:16am)

Today I say goodbye to the cats, 5+3 kittens, and the dog, to start a new morning routine, one with less animals. This time just one cat and one dog. I leave the Wisconsin boarder, M's asshole landlords, and the drama, this afternoon with M and head north into Minnesota. Home sweet home. All thanks to Aramis. Not that there aren't nice parts of Wisconsin, but the state is very Trump'ish over the age of 40. 

My once clean and simple hometown has become the new found land of bougie swine. For fuck sake. Where did you assholes come from? But isn't that just the way, outsiders see wilderness, clean land, clean air, wide open spaces for man and animal to peacefully co-exist, and decide "Fuck all this beauty! Lets build gas stations!" 

If it wasn't for my friends and the kindness of strange men with candy, I'd be homeless for all of 2020. Not off the grid, cabin in the woods, cool homeless, more like, chewing stale nickle gum beside a four story blowup Mapusaurus for a store selling TenPoint Vapor crossbows for three-thousand bucks a pop, homeless. Because, you know, that's how the dinosaurs really died. (Whoo! Trump University!) And if there's one thing hunters love more than killing them there dinosaurs, it's girls who know how snap their gum. Mmm. So sexy. 

(6:47am)

I went to school with this idiot. 🙄

NOVEMBER 27, 2020

(10:31am)

Chicken base and garlic salt...

(10:26am)

Sleepless night for everyone especially mama who delivered kitty #1 at 3:30am and still has at least one more to go, possibly two. 🤯

NOVEMBER 26, 2020

(12:23pm)

He’s so nice like this. Which is like three minutes a day at his age. 

 

NOVEMBER 25, 2020

(3:14pm)

I am a cat person. Independent. Doesn't give a fuck. Low maintenance. Clean. Quiet. Fluffy. Cute. "I live here, you pay the rent." Cat person.

(7:58am)

I'm learning a lot about the court system in Wisconsin. I learned quite a bit about the court system in Los Angeles, and comparatively speaking, if the DMV is anything like the 3 cases per day court system in St Croix, I might just move to Wisconsin. -- No. Of course not. If I move anywhere in the Midwest it will be back to my childhood home of MN. Salmon upstream, Emperor penguin, kind of thing. Back from whence I came to breed and die. Or in my case, just to die.

Did I mention I'm tired of crazy harassing landlords. Yeah I'm over it. Done. I'm suing M's asshole landlord for harassment. During the whole time I stayed with M, this landlord has harassed me, disregarded my privacy, added MY NAME to his rental complaint from before I even arrived in Wisconsin, and sexually harassed me a few times to boot. Fuck this. Final straw. Just because you live on the property, just because you own the property, does NOT give you right to harass me. I didn't even know who this dude was until few weeks ago. Never paid attention to him. He was just some creep in a hoodie banging on the door every day while M was at work.

I saw M's landlord for the first time yesterday. What a train wreck. He's usually bundled up in a hoodie like a 15 year old subway tagger, but yesterday I saw him in court for the old decrepit man he is. Talk about falling apart. 

IN IT TO WIN IT

This is for women everywhere being harassed. 

M's case goes to trial December 4th. 

NOVEMBER 23, 2020

(9:31am)

This kid 😂

(7:53am)

It’s not like they didn’t warn us. They’ve been reporting for months and months now that another Covid surge was going to hit the US. 

Just go to a Republican state, work, make money, then go home. 

Sick of this shit. 

Imagine if only we could hold other people as accountable with their jobs as y’all hold cooks, servers, and bartenders with theirs. 🤨

Fuck your “in between medium and medium rare” retarded bullshit, fix the pandemic. Then learn how to order food.

NOVEMBER 22, 2020

(8:17pm)

My (white) friend got suspended on FB for quoting a movie (with an all white cast) that used the language “white trash” but this is appropriate advertising? 🤨

(2:05pm)

Everybody's getting into the act! I purr when I eat too.

(10:29am)

The most important thing to me about finding a mans is that he lives for being outdoors, small travels, eats fish, and has already settled down. Regardless what you do for a profession, so long as its legal, just be settled down. If you act like a rambunctious teen, I'm out. After my divorce I had another two years of fucking around being stupid, but at almost 52 years of age, I'm tired. Far more tired than I was at 50. I'm tired. I haven't had sex in three years, tired. Not tired of sex, tired of the bullshit. Sex will come because everything else is in place. Not the other way around. I can wait. I've got stuff to do.

It snowed last night. 

Day after tomorrow I'm going to court with M. Support her. Testify for her. We'll see if the judge is smart enough to kick this case down to mediation where it belongs. 

Thank you Aramis! My hero. 

 

NOVEMBER 21, 2020

(9:13pm)

Is everyone back to hoarding toilet paper? Yes? Ok then just checking. 🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻🧻

(6:33pm)

I want this. Everything she's eating. I want.

(2:36pm)

I think M's (husband) landlord is by himself. His wife doesn't seem to be around, not for a while, Thanksgiving, and from what the wife-landlord told M, her husband is not liked by anyone in her family anyway. This guy really is a piece of work. He has nothing better to do with his life than harass M, and me. It's his fault he's in this position. He's a shitty human being who just wants money. See you in court Tuesday morning, asshole.

Last night M's car broke down, again, after just having it fixed. The landlord was right there watching M's car break down in the driveway too where it's still sitting today. Then around 3am the landlord banged something very heavy against the side of M's house, and then he walked on M's roof, followed by shuffling back and forth on the dirt road past M's house. Back and forth. Back and forth. Just to make the dog bark. Around 5am the dog needed to go out. Less than a minute later I heard a gunshot blasting from the landlord's house. Don't worry the dog came home safe and sound. 

The landlord knows he's going to lose. He's a creep. And the judge will see him for the lying greedy creep that he is. I don't doubt M's landlord fully regrets filing a court date. He doesn't think things through because he's stupid, and a creep. Meanwhile we have so much evidence against him, and everyone knows about him: all our friends, The St Croix D.A. because M contacted that office regarding a restraining order against the landlord back on the 4th, and various other legal offices we contacted for advice regarding this asshole landlord including the public defenders office. The landlord did M a favor by taking M to court. He can pay for his own fucktardery. Furthermore this landlord's name is getting passed around from one law enforcement office to another, to another. He left us no choice with the shitty things he's done in the past four weeks. What an asshole. 

Back to preparing for court. IN IT TO WIN IT. 

NOVEMBER 20, 2020

(8:03pm)

I still do this dance. 

(4:12pm)

Does.... Does that say... DEADPOOL 3????

Yaaaaaaaas!!!!!

(12:45pm)

I attacked this sauerkraut. It’s the real thing and very delicious. I grew up eating sauerkraut on all my meat and vegetables but then stopped after moving to CA (specifically Los Angeles) because sauerkraut hurts their feelings. You cannot find real sauerkraut anywhere but maybe specialty stores.  

This is so good. I put this stuff on everything. Potatoes. Meatballs. Sausage. Everything.

(7:30am)

So is now a good time to stock a fallout shelter? I'll be writing my blog by hand in 2021 otherwise known as my memoir. 

As M's trial date with her landlords gets closer, four days away now, I'm double checking my timeline of events, making sure I don't forget anything, meanwhile M's (husband) landlord is stalking the premises from 1am-until first light. Early this morning he shined his headlights into M's house, and then minutes later one of the outdoor cats screeched in pain. Both outdoor cats are inside now. I wouldn't put it past this guy to injure an animal. Remember, male batshit crazies are generally white, otherwise unnoticeable, you wouldn't think much of him, and maintains a low profile. Ed Gein. (And) we're in Wisconsin. Perfect. Good lord, Aramis. No wonder you left. 

For reasons I don't quite understand, M doesn't want to leave. I can't make her leave. She has to want to leave. Either way it's time for me to go. I wish I could get M to leave too. But she'll stay, wait it out, until the law says she has to go. I don't get it but, to each their own. I didn't understand my dad's refusal to smoke pot to help him eat, instead dad starved himself to death by choice which was excruciating to witness, but people have to go on their own terms no matter how hard it is to watch.

I wish I could have spent more time with my friend having fun and not dealing with crazy landlords. Next time. Still great seeing her. 

Last night I checked out the SMARTLESS podcast by Sean Hays, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman. I don't normally like podcasts (unless there's visual) but because these guys are so funny, it was good. Obviously. It was good. Check it out if you haven't already.

NOVEMBER 19, 2020

(6:40pm) 

I don’t like her. Not really. She tries to hard to be Boki. 

It’s just...

Boki is pretty. 

This woman shouldn’t talk. Her voice sounds like a man. And she keeps shaking when she eats. Spasms? WTF is that about? 

(9:33am)

Oh FFS he was sitting outside. Tell Karen to get a hobby. 

NOVEMBER 18, 2020

(7:21pm)

She’s not as pretty as BOKI and she talks while eating 😣😖 but she’s eating fried chicken and I’m always impressed with the way Asians eat chicken legs, they eat 💯 clean, cartilage and all. 

Americans eat cartilage too but in the form of Jello... after the cartilage been reduced to powder with acid. Mmm acid. 

M’s batshit crazy landlord is walking on M’s roof again. It’s 46 degrees F out with a crazy ass windchill and he’s walking on M’s roof. God lord. He just jumped off. And now the dog is barking like crazy. Welcome to Wisconsin, hey. Home of Ed Gein. 

(2:18pm)

Minnesota governor Waltz will close the state again on Friday for four weeks. No gyms, no salons, no dine in or out (to go only), no bars, no nothing non essential. I don't know what the solution here is, folks? 

What's the answer?

(9:03am)

Ha.

(8:14am)

Last night I was talking to Jeff, and M, who also lived in Los Angeles and/or Vegas, like me, grew up in Minnesota, and this is why I needed to be back in the Midwest, I need to be among my own, away from batshit crazy LA people. I love CA weather, but that's the only thing about LA I love. 

Kids of the internet world, this is how you have a conversation with your friends...

"Hey. How are you? I haven't heard from you in a while. How is everything?"

(Within 48 hours they reply) "Hi there! Sorry for the delay. Doing as well as can be expected. 2020 what a mess. Nice to hear from you. I've been thinking about you. How are you?"

"Thanks. Yeah nice to hear back from you too. I hear ya. we're doing the same over here. We were just concerned. Haven't heard from ya. Do you need anything?"

"That's sweet. Thank you. No, I think we're ok for now. I think we might actually go to Swedish market in a little bit here. Can I get you guys anything?"

"Thank you, nice, but no.... " etc.

And that is how you converse with friends, as opposed to Los Angeles way of...

"Hey! Why haven't I heard from you!"

"I text you two weeks ago but I didn't hear back from you."

"I'm fucking busy. You should have tried again."

"Really? What do you want? Why did you contact me?"

"I don't need shit. You're a fucked up friend."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. You heard me. Fuck you!"

😂 So LA.

No thanks. I need normal. People who stay in their little LA bubbles have no idea how to talk to people, or how to treat people. They think human beings are either property or commodity. Fuck off. And any time someone yells at you, "I never asked you to care for me!" Just run. Those people are broken beyond repair. They'll take your help and then yell at you for it, randomly, days, weeks, months, years later. Just let those assholes be. 

I love you Aramis. Miss you. 

(8:05am)

Ha! Awesome. No old timey 1980’s Alex P. Keaton Republican likes this smug little twat.

NOVEMBER 17, 2020

(5:40pm)

Wow 😂 holy shit. Someone I haven't seen or talked to in seven weeks randomly called and text me obsessively just now to... scream at me for not being around. I text that person two weeks ago to say hello, and he blew me off. Didn't return the text. And now, all of sudden, random, he called me three times and left me a dozen nasty text messages because I'm not around. Did he just now notice I'm not around? I told everyone six weeks ago I was headed to the Midwest to visit my friend. Wow. 

My dad's shitty first wife was a nutjob too but only because she was a weird child with no friends. This guy has codependency problems. He doesn't give a fuck about you until you're gone. Then he just freaks out. He needs someone when he needs someone like an emotional support monkey. Fucking L.A. people. y'all freak me out with your bullshit.

"I'm so lucky to not have you in my life!" 

But I'm not in your life.

"That's right! I'm so lucky you're not in my life!"

You called me three times, and text me a dozen times, to tell me how lucky you are I'm not in your life? 

"Yup! I'm LUCKY!"

Yea. OK. Bye. *cough*insanefuckjob*cough*

(1:45pm)

Don't take responsibility. Don't wear protection. Spread the disease. Do whatever you want at the cost of others. Fuck everyone else. Me Me Me. And then when the disease spreads even further, blame someone else. See, adulting is easy. 😷😏😷

(11:18am)

WTF California. Everyone get Covid. Fuck it. Let god sort y'all out. 

(9:50am)

In seven days M faces her landlords in court. Of course I'll be there too, armed with my dates, times, and incidents report. I can't wait. In the meantime I was hoping to convince M to keep packing and looking for a place but she's decided to wait until after the judgement.

I'm one of those people where if I'm on a mission to get something better, I don't stop until I get better. I don't play, I don't waste time, every minute is precious towards getting what I want. Focus. I don't care about Thanksgiving, partying, I don't care about any of it. I want what I want, and I won't stop until I get it.

 

NOVEMBER 16, 2020

(9:31pm)

My BOKI's back and there's gonna be trouble, hay-la-day-la, my BOKI'S back!

NOVEMBER 15, 2020

(2:55pm)

Explain it to me again. If I’m doing everything by myself, why do I need a man? Your job as a man is to pay the bills and keep steaks in the freezer. I cook, clean, and take of the home. But if you rather pay a housekeeper or do it all yourself than y’all 💯 correct, we have ZERO use for each other. 

AND ANOTHER THING...

You know how men criticize “That girl just hopes you’ll fall in love with her personality and forgo physical sexual attraction.” — Yea, that goes both ways asshole. If you’re not Brad Pitt circa TROY then you be better have a nice house and steaks in the freezer! 

(2:45pm)

Like waiting for an HIV test back in the day. 

Good news. I don’t have the Covid.

NOVEMBER 14, 2020

(4:19pm)

These Stellas have been in the fridge since last Friday. I have not drank anything for at least a week. I think longer. 

I haven't heard anything about my Covid test yet. 3-7 days until we get the result they said. "If you test positive you'll receive a phone call." Tomorrow is day 3. 

I've been chatting with this guy Jeff all day from Facebook. He used to live in Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. His band played in the bar I worked at in the late 90's. We never met. We have the same friends. We hung out in the same bars. He used to play at my work. How have we never met before? Crazy. And here we meet in Minnesota of all places. 

(10:10am)

It took about two years to get used to the Los Angeles sun. And now, it's so dark here in the Midwest, there is not enough light bulbs to make the food I cook look like the goddamn food I cook! Everything I make is red, brown, and yellow, all because of the lack of light. Holy shit. It's funny how you don't notice things until you leave and then come back... like the sun.

(8:30am)

I made a pot of egg drop soup. 

Because I’m awesome. 😎

(7:59am)

So I guess I'm headed back to L.A.? In my mind I saw living in MN again. I truly did. I saw settling down. Making a cabin frontier home. Cooking big meals. Having someone to share life with. Friends over for Sunday and holiday dinners. I saw it as though it were happening. As though it was intuition. I've been seeing it all year. Meh. I've been wrong before. 

I didn't reconnect with my old Tower Records coworker Krys. We chat one afternoon a few days after I arrived, four weeks ago. That's all he wanted. I never heard from him again. That's cool. I rather make effort and try to connect than not try and always wonder. That's right, kids. Lessons learned from the Hallmark Channel, or was it an after school special back in the 80's? The more you know! I text Krys yesterday to ask if he knew anyone in real estate. He doesn't. I know like five real estate agents in Los Angeles. I guess being a real estate agent isn't as big of a thing out here as it is in LA. I try helping M find a new home but, I think this is one of those things she has to do on her own. She really wants her husband back. She really wants him to be more kind and loving, which he's not, sad to say. And as for me? Back to LA? Or another adventure? I'm a little bummed it didn't work out here. I really saw myself in a nice kitchen making a big dinner for family and friends. Maybe that's meant to happen some place else? Because really, that's Heaven to me, home with a man I love making big dinners for family and friends, or out in the country, cooking over a roaring fire. God I'd love that. C'mon internet. Make it happen. 

NOVEMBER 13, 2020

(7:11pm)

Everyone still got the same number fingers and toes from this morning? Friday the 13th, hey. 

THIS GUY! 

(7:50am)

Remember how I said I found cousins of mine on Facebook. I wrote one, my cousin Danny, 4 days ago and have not heard back. I should explain...

Danny and I are the same age. His mom and my dad's first wife are sisters. Their mom is my grandma, not by blood, but she always loved me as her granddaughter, and I always loved her as my grandma. In past years I refer to her as my grandma in this blog. 

The two sisters were never close. They were sisters. That's all. Evil sibling rivalry. My aunt was the pretty one, the popular one, and quite possibly my grandma's favorite. My dad's wife was bitter, angry, jealous, and the only reason my dad married her (he told me years later) was because she got pregnant. And that's what men did back then when they got a woman pregnant, they married them. Dumb. 

I had a very lovely relationship with my grandma. I adored her. She was the only female role model I had at that time. At first it seemed like a good idea to my parents for me to spend weekends and summers with my grandma, until my dad's wife got jealous I was enjoying myself when she had such a miserable childhood with her.

When I was about 14 years old both my aunt and my grandmother decided one of them should raise me. They felt my dad's wife was doing a terrible job. They felt I was being neglected, ignored, and that I had more potential as an artist (and human being) than my dad's wife was capable of nurturing. True as it was, this did not go over well with my dad's wife as you can imagine and so they were banned from seeing me. My dad's wife couldn't care less about raising me, but she wasn't about to let her sister and mom do a better job. Right around this time my dad had a mistress, and another family I didn't know about, though his wife did, and rather than divorce my dad she chose to stay and let her anger fester. I won't bore you with the details again but it ended a few years later with my dad throwing his wife out of the house. Etc. Etc. 

Before my dad threw his first wife out of the house, he bought her a nice house of her own, gave her $30,000 in tax free cash, and got her a nice cushy state government job. My dad set her up first then threw her out when she refused to leave. 

After my dad's divorce from his first wife, the two sister reconciled their childhood rivalry and became close, or so I heard. 

I left for California in 1989. Apparently, some time in the last 20 years while I was living five states away, my grandma died, and my dad's now ex-wife was having an affair with her sister's husband. Needless to say that ended ties between the two sisters, and between the two families or so it seems. 

I asked M, how should I contact my cousin? What should I say? I'm sorry we grew apart. I'm sorry my dad's first wife banged your mom's husband. I was living in CA and had no knowledge. I did write my cousin, Daniel, last Monday but have yet to hear back from him. I admit I did a bad job keeping touch with relatives. I'm sorry I lost contact with my grandma. I'm sorry I lost contact with my aunt and cousins. I moved to California and left my family behind. It's amazing how one person can tear apart so many lives with their jealousy and hatred. I'd like to make amends. Not for my dad's ex-wife, fuck her. I'd like to make amends for my part. For not keeping in touch. 

Daniel. I never called him that. I only ever called him Danny. Christmas 1987. That was the last time we saw each other. The last time I saw my grandma. More than anything I'd like to see my aunt again. Thank her for wanting to care for me when I was a kid. I wish she had. I wish either one, my grandma or aunt, had taken care of me. What a different person I would be now. I'm certain of it. To be nurtured rather than fighting for everything. I guess more than anything I wonder what that would have been like.

My oldest brother finally left home. He moved his young family to Arizona in his mid 50's. My cousin left Minnesota too according to Facebook. They left in their 50’s, I came home. Danny now lives in Colorado, I think. Vail? God I'd love to live in Vail. Nothing stopping me really. Well, besides 'rona. 

Day 1 waiting for Covid test results.

Think I'll make us a big kettle of egg drop soup today. 

NOVEMBER 12, 2020

(11:34pm)

M and I got our Covid tests today. 3-7 days for results. Thank you guys for being out in this miserable weather to do these free tests. I so appreciate it. It was a double nostril nose swab that reminded me of my coke days minutes after they were through. Y’all remember that smokey glass coffee table I had on Detroit street dontcha? 

And this was at noon. It’s pretty much dark all the time now. 

(8:53am)

I know all this is shitty for my friend, and I’m being as helpful and supportive as I can, but fuck these awful people. I’m in it to win it! 

(7:49am)

The sheriff's dept just came out to M's house to serve her papers to appear in court November 24, 2020. The plaintiffs, her landlords. The lawsuit is hilarious. Her landlords just penciled in shit to complain about from the top of their heads. No facts. I'm not kidding. The complaint is written in pen FFS. The monetary sum of the complaint is for $1,084 (and 48 cents). FIRST OF ALL...

The shitty landlords wrote in pen that M owes them $240 for new patio doors they supposedly installed November 8, 2020. Um. No. God bless social media. I posted pictures on Instagram on October 16, 2020 of the view from said patio doors they supposedly installed three weeks later. 😏 

AND THEN, and my favorite part...

Additionally, the shitty landlords actually wrote "Unknown damages cannot yet be determined" because, you know, maybe they'll invent some other fake repairs they had to make later on down the road.

So last night, I noticed Nala, the dog, had a smell of chemicals on her back similar to gasoline but not as strong. I thought maybe she ran under a car, or next to a car, maybe she got too close, I was willing to let it go. Bathe her and forget about it. But then one of kitchen sink pipes leaked water while I was washing dishes. The floor had a nice size pool of water coming from under the sink. I didn't notice it right away because I was wearing tennis shoes. I don't believe in coincidences. 

The sheriff who served M court papers this morning is the same sheriff who arrived when M and her husband had a fight and the shitty landlords called the police. That was before I arrived. Aaaand he was hot. Holy shit.

And the "funny" part about all this is, we were going to have M moved out by the 23'rd. And you know the landlords have NO INTENTION of giving M her deposit back. They never did. They're such shitty people. These assholes rented out M's house last month with her still living in it after she paid them rent! There's no way a judge isn't going to look at this lawsuit and be like ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. Not to mention....

AGENCY:

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

ACTION:

Agency Order.

SUMMARY:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), located within the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announces the issuance of an Order under Section 361 of the Public Health Service Act to temporarily halt residential evictions to prevent the further spread of COVID-19.

DATES:

This Order is effective September 4, 2020 through December 31, 2020.

I thought my old landlord Joe was a nutjob but these people, wow, collectively do not have an 8th grade education. Even the sheriff was like, "Yeah these people, just have a lawyer present you'll be fine."

Once again proving the use of some having suffered fools, if for no other reason to knock some fool dick into the dirt when they try suffering others.

NOVEMBER 11, 2020

(10:05pm)

Did anybody think Trump was going to go willingly? Fuck no. 

Kicking and screaming, baby. 

(8:38pm)

This kid is my hero.

And

He's from Minnesota.

(8:56am)

The front door froze shut. Thank goodness for M’s upper body strength because I couldn’t get the door open. If I were alone I’d have to get a pot of hot water and run it along the doorway. It’s currently 21 degrees F out. Last night it rained ice. 

My IG foodie photos are in yellow and brown hues these days because of where I am. The skies are usually dark in this part of the country during this time of year. Today it’s unusually sunny out. More often than not it looks like this outside...

And so my IG looks like this...

Tomorrow M and I are getting Covid tests though today I finally feel like my normal grumpy broody self. 

Amid packing up M’s house I’m obsessed with depression era cooking. What did they eat? How did they make groceries last? Minnesota is on the verge of locking down again and so people will once more be out of work. My friend works for a licensing company which allows her to work from home, which she’s been doing all this week now that we’re in quarantine. 

There was a sweet 98 year old woman named Clara who made a YouTube channel about Depression Era Cooking. The history of food is very interesting. I love how young chefs today take credit for meals that were created generations ago sometimes out of necessity like the Great Depression. 

I made Clara’s potato dish that included onions and sausage. Her dish used hotdogs but I substitute hotdogs for sausage. And this was considered a really good meal during the Great Depression. I made flour, milk, and butter biscuits adding seasoning, which are also the same ingredients used for breakfast gravy. Interesting. Just add scrambled eggs and this is pretty much a diner Breakfast Griddle, right? The same meal during the Great Depression. 

I’m a nerd. I know. My OnlyFans content would be me picking out affordable extra virgin olive oil. Yea. Hot. You like that, dontcha big daddy. 😜😘

During this time of everything being so FUBAR I have to do my part. Never underestimate how little it takes to make a good meal for your family. 

I’ll let bougie chefs take care of the rich. All that money, none ya’ll should be overweight. You have the wealth to eat healthy. I have zero respect for fat rich people. 

What? Not all of you have thyroid problems! 

NOVEMBER 10, 2020

(10:13am)

So we're all in agreement that we'd rather get Covid than be a test rat for a vaccine that messed up one subject's spinal cord, right? "Side effect" no thanks.

That said, M and I are getting tested for Covid on Thursday. Apparently they do them for free at the local fire department on designated days. 

Friday afternoon I had a migraine headache that lasted until Sunday afternoon. By Friday evening I felt really bad: chills, migraine, congestion, sneezing, extreme fatigue. I should also mention Friday is when my period started. Nonetheless, just to be on the safe side we're getting tested Thursday. I had already been in WI/MN for three weeks so I didn't get it in CA or on my travels, that is, if I test positive.

Today I just have fatigue, not sleepy fatigue, can't move around a lot fatigue. I still have congestion. No cough. No fever. No migraine. 

My circle of contacts here is very limited to M, her asshole landlords, and a few visitors. M and I wear our masks when out. We follow the state's face covering mandate. If I have Covid I don't want to get anyone else sick obviously, I'm not an asshole, but for myself, will I get immunity once I recover? Do I need to lick a Covid positive person to find out? 

I'm so sick of this shit to the point of just give it to me and lets see what happens. Fuck your vaccine. Kick it old school. 

But hey, at least I got a flu shot. 😏

NOVEMBER 9, 2020

(9:28pm)

Straight out of the Joan Crawford adopt a child and then invite the press for a photo op, playbook. Well done Mommy Dearest. 🙄

(8:37am)

It's like M says, I'm not in CA at the moment so there's no need knowing me. I can't do anything for you while I'm visiting MN. 😏 

This is the their way.

(7:16am)

Much better. I feel much better. Not 100% but I imagine I will be after my cup of tea. And by "cup of tea" I mean this here gallon drum. 

Has anyone seen Christine? Is she still alive? I miss that crazy kid. We had a lot of fun back when there was fun to be had. Too much. Before we all had to grow up and start adulting. 

It's funny seeing people I haven't seen since I was 18 years old. Mostly I just... and here I go with another movie reference but... 

"Mavis, I'm a married man."

"I know. We can beat this thing together."

And every guy I talk to is Mavis Gary. I'm not married anymore but I'm 51 years old, and divorced, with gray hair, suffering from peri-menopause, I'll be 52 years old in January, and it's like no one quite comprehends... it. 

I now know what evil the howling wind is bringing. I looked at the weather forecast. Seems it's going to snow and the temp will drop back down into the 30's. I'm going to buy some long johns. Not kidding.

I have the urge to see a band play. In a club. Small club. A biker bar type club. Like the Iron Horse, in Crystal. I guess that bar's not there anymore. Had a lot of fun times in that bar. I think this has to happen within the next 7 days. I can't imagine what bands are playing in Minnesota now. Back when I still lived here there was a band called Slave Raider, (my friends) Regime, a band called Hurricane 7 (because Hurricane was already taken and rock bands all put the number 7 after their maiden name. No idea why. It was the 80's) and if memory serves correctly, which it probably doesn't, members of that band went on to join Steel Panther? I have no idea where to go see 40-50 year old live local rock music but I know it must still exist out here because one guy from Saint Cloud "liked" a photo of mine and he's definitely seen Sons Of Anarchy... perhaps a little too much. 

5 FACTS about me, fellas.

I've never seen a full episode of GOT

I haven't been on an actual (traditional) date since 2012

Men who cook AND care about preserving wildlife are hot AF

I'm missing a vertebra in my neck

I once seriously considered becoming a nun (I instead moved to San Francisco where nuns there have an entirely different job description)

And the wind continues to howl. 

Brace yourselves. 

NOVEMBER 8, 2020

(9:58pm)

I didn't know Ken. Did I? 

The 90's. You know how it was.

(8:19pm)

The wind has been howling something fierce for the past 2 days. And you know what they say about howling winds -- Something wicked this way comes. 

I found family members, cousins, on social media, I haven't talked to since we were kids. I'm contemplating writing them. Some of them still live in Minnesota. I also learned my dad filed for three marriage certificates. He's only been married twice. Right? But what do I know. He also had another family with another woman while I was growing up. I knew he had a mistress, but I didn't know about the kids until after he died. He probably has a prison record for all i know. Who was this man?

M and I have heart to heart talks a lot. Especially lately. We wonder how much of our parents we've become. I wander, wayward, drinking, stray, like my dad. M suffers drama after drama with her husband and kids, like her mom. We want more. We want what doesn't exist anymore. 

I finally feel OK. I just needed two days to sleep I guess. There are days I feel really old. I still look good but I feel like absolute shit more often than not. That's the universe balancing itself out. You can look amazing in your 50's but you're going to feel like shit. 

Oh David...

Remember when we were young and adorable? Remember my apartment across from the Whiskey? I only paid like $750 for that giant one bedroom apartment. Now it's probably $3,500 a month. Crazy. I miss seeing you play. If I could see one more concert from back in the day, tonight it would be you guys. The original band. RIP Frankie.

I'm keeping a heater
I'm doing the best I can
Now I'm looking for something
You just wouldn't understand
With a devil in my heart
And a shotgun in my hand
You're gonna lose this man
I said, "You're gonna lose this man."

(9:08am)

What he said.

(7:24am)

I blame America's economic collapse of 2020 entirely on Trump. I blame the pandemic deaths of Americans entirely on Trump and the federal government. I blame the escalated racial tension in this country in the past 3+ years entirely on Trump for being a failed leader who thinks he's smarted than the learned men and women AKA his advisers. And on top of that, he would have started a war with either China and/or South North Korea. He definitely tried to start another civil war just to stay in power. I have better political diplomacy than that orange moron and I hate everyone. 

I don't hate everyone.

Not everyone.

Not really hate.

It more...

It's more of a...

Contempt.

Moving on. 

And that's aside Trump's shit way he treats women, everyone, hangs with pedophiles, and whatever the fuck weird relationship he has with his daughter Ivanka since she was a little girl. 

Did I want Biden, no. Not my top pick. I wanted the younger moderate. I wanted Buttigieg, who served in the military and knows something about discipline, loyalty, hard work, and true love of country. But oh no, you guys wanted the old man. Fine. Good news is he's not Trump, and that's all I care about now. 

And like every other Karen in America, Trump's threat of leaving the country will go empty. 

Just keep your word and never come back to Minnesota. I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do. I'll spend the holidays here and see after New Year's Eve if I stay or go back to California. 

Right now I can't go anywhere. I've been sick since Friday night. Sniffles. Sneezing. Runny nose. Migraine. No fever. I get warm sometimes but right now my face is cool. A lot of fatigue. I've been on my period since Wednesday. 51 years old and still getting my period. Ridiculous. I don't get it often anymore. Maybe 4 times this year. But when it comes, as much as I bleed out, if I were a man I would have died last Friday. My immune system was way down and so... 

My California is showing. Last night I wore a jacket to get Ibuprofen. Everyone else was in a tee-shirt. And it's only November. 😣

*Yes, I got a flu shot before I left Los Angeles.

 

NOVEMBER 7, 2020

(6:42pm)

There’s nothing Republican about Trump. He lost because old school Republicans voted for Biden, myself included. Had Mitt Romney won the Republican ticket the party might have stood a chance. 

Even Romney voted for Biden, I’ll bet.

(6:34pm)

I'm confused. I just bought a 50 capsule bottle of Ibuprofen for $2.99 at a gas station. And it's gluten free. For those of you who don't live in Los Angeles, this bottle would be $13.00 at least. 

On the other hand, bottles of wine are far more expensive out here. 

Go figure.

Last night I forgot my mask in the car but it's mask optional out here. I felt bad because everyone was wearing one. I was willing to go back to the car and get one but everyone waved me in and said not to worry about it. And tonight I brought my mask to get Ibuprofen and no one was wearing a mask. Is this a Friday night vs. Saturday night crowd, kind of thing?

I'm still reeling from paying only $2.99 for a 50 capsule of Ibuprofen. 

(2:44pm)

Thank kittens! 

Secret Service walking Trump out of the White House, like how my dad threw out his insane first wife. Literally tossed her shit in the driveway and called the police. 

“If I lose Minnesota I’m never coming back.” — Trump

Promise? 👍🏻

(12:04pm)

I voted for that idiot in 2016. My mistake. 

Not this time.

(10:19am)

It's been a busy last two days, what with the booby trapping my friend's house and all. 😉

November 2nd the asshole landlords served my friend yet another 5 day eviction notice for having a guest, me, "Jane Doe, house guest" longer than 14 days. Apparently they think they're above the law. 

SUMMARY:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), located within the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announces the issuance of an Order under Section 361 of the Public Health Service Act to temporarily halt residential evictions to prevent the further spread of COVID-19.

DATES:

This Order is effective September 4, 2020 through December 31, 2020.

Additionally I should mention there is no lease. No paper. Nothing has been signed. Only the rental receipts that my friend and her husband have for the past 4 months or so. These assholes stalk my friend's house from midnight until 3:30am, just to harrass her, or they were until a few nights ago when I rigged some lights to go off when they get near the house. Say cheese! They scrambled like cockraoches. 

Still, who needs the hassle, I made arrangements, recorded, to prove I left within the 5 day eviction. Of course, I'll be back. 

My friend needs to get rid of some of her animals. She's got 5 cats, and that's after she found a home for the two latest kittens. She originally had 7 cats and 1 dog, who barks at every-thing. No training whatsoever. Too much. 

So today we'll see what those assholes say to her next. 

How are you doing?

NOVEMBER 5, 2020

(10:11am)

As I was saying...

SUMMARY:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), located within the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announces the issuance of an Order under Section 361 of the Public Health Service Act to temporarily halt residential evictions to prevent the further spread of COVID-19.

DATES:

This Order is effective September 4, 2020 through December 31, 2020.

(9:48am)

Actually no, I have plenty more I can say about these shady landlords. They already tried shutting off the hot water, and next I suspect they'll try changing the locks on the doors, only, that too is illegal amid COVID. What works in M's favor in that situation is, the police will then be called, and the landlords will now be named in a police record. Furthermore they'll be forced to open the door and give M keys. And all that drama for what?

Apparently three + weeks ago M and her husband had some shit, husband and wife stuff, who hasn't been there? The landlords, the scumlords, called the police. No one was arrested, no one was hit, no one was abused, it was just a bunch of screaming, one time. The landlords then illegally told M's husband to leave. They had no legal right to throw M's husband out. Goddamn KARENS. The husband's name is on all the documents regarding the rental, sans paper lease, tangible legal document, which there isn't one, because WHY? Both parties just fuck themselves without a paper lease. The judge will no doubt kick it down to mediation. The mediator will just split the baby. Mediators aren't invested. Just another lawyer who doesn't give a fuck about either one of you. So anyway, the husband leaves which also means he takes 50% of the money with him. Instead of boning up on the proper procedure of late fees, to 5 day notices, to going before a judge and having both your day in court, what do these asshole landlords do, they think they can just push M out of the rental also, and then they take money from new renters (who are paying more) without first closing out legalities with M, the previous renter. And these landlords did all this in addition to breaking yet another law by ignoring the U.S. COVID moratorium.  

I'm just beside myself. 

Yes my friend is left with more than she can handle by herself, but who gets married with the aforethought of, "I just got married. Welp, I better plan my separation before going on my Honeymoon." 

There's more to being a landlord than just collecting rent. There are rental laws you must follow.

Reread that last sentence. 

Reread it again. 

(7:18am)

It's only the 5th and I'm already sick of November.

Note to self: tripwire 

I would like coming home again much more if weren't for the troubles going on with my friend. And that's all I can say about that.

Ever see THE JUDGE? Great movie.

NOVEMBER 4, 2020

(1:41pm)

"The average American adult maintained only an 8th grade education."

(10:26am)

Do we have a new president yet? Asking for a friend.

M's landlords are dong doing the midnight-3am lurking shift. Nightly now. I have a Quentin Tarantino scene playing out in my head. Good thing I brought my knee high black boots with me.

That (husband) landlord is in love with me. Well, maybe not l.o.v.e but he did say he wanted to see me in a bikini. I guess that can be a kind of love? What is it with white guy landlords and bikinis? That batchit crazy Joe-landlord wanted to see me in a bikini too. Bikinis? It's just so... retro. I haven't shaved in like three months so, retro it is!

NOVEMBER 3, 2020

(10:50am)

Stand in that long line, girl. VOTE. You have no one but yourself to blame otherwise.

(7:05am)

The court has to get involved now. M tried keeping the courts out of it but now it has to go to court, or a mediator at the very least unless M wants to go all in and file a harassment lawsuit, which she now has right to do so. I mean these landlords come by THREE times a day to harass. Last night at 9:00pm M's (husband) landlord came by (holy shit) again. This time to evict ME from the property. On the eviction notice I'm listed as "Jane Doe, house guest." That was the piece of paper he tried getting me involved with earlier in the day when he came by. It says on the eviction that (he believes) since I've been here two weeks visiting my friend, that I now must either vacate after 5 days OR be held liable as a tenant. Um. No. He would be what I like to call WRONG. First of all, I came out here to visit my childhood friend, upon my arrival M told me of the bullshit between her, her husband, and these landlords, which at the time seemed minor to me in comparison to what it has now fire-balled into, 100% because of these landlords. AND ANOTHER THING, even if M had no intention of trying to find a new place to live, ignoring all the laws these landlords have broken since my arrival alone (and will continue to break no doubt) even still, M and I are legally allowed to quarantine together. 

The courts now have to get involved. Everyone grab an attorney and lets head to the courthouse. The judge will kick it down into mediation, where it should go, and the mediator will rule 50% for M, and 50% for the landlords. My name isn't on the lease. I've never rented from these people nor would I (ever) after the first interview with them. And no paper lease? Fuck that shit. But let's get real here for a minute...

Aside from the fact harassment is illegal and there's a paper trail of it (photographed in mine and M's Cloud) and handful of other friends, and also video evidence, the reason M's landlords are freaking out about M not leaving is, those asshole landlords already took money from new renters they had no right to take money from. And now those jilted renters are going to want their money back since the landlords had no right evicting M in the first place. 

Lets all go to court. Fuck it.

Because the ST CROIX circuit court of Wisconsin advises all renters to paper trail EVERYTHING landlords are doing to illegally try evicting tenants from their homes during Covid. The mandate lasts until December 31, I believe. 

Like I told the (husband) landlord yesterday, if you got a grievance put it in writing and file a court date. Withal, you know what the "funniest" part about all this is, had M's landlords just left it alone, M would have been out of here by the end of the month. She doesn't want to stay. It's not a matter of defiance. It's a matter of time and opportunity amid COVID. But these landlords have both harassed M over and over, and over again to the point they are in fact breaking law, after law, after law... 

Cameras went up. This last "eviction" notice with Jane Doe's name on it is for yet another 5 days. Lets see how many laws in 5 days these landlords will break.

And GO.

NOVEMBER 2, 2020

(2:32pm)

M's (husband) landlord just came by again. He tried to put my name on a rental document he wanted to leave for M. Oh hell no. If he would just let it be everything would work out. To the best of my knowledge M is leaving by the 28 day dissolution, but that guy's in love with me so he finds reason to come by when he knows M is at work. "Sorry to harass ya." He says. "I just want to know M is leaving by 28 days and not gonna hide behind some Covid law." Dude, how would I know? Am I a lawyer? Am I M? No. Then he asked how I liked being out in the country and I reminded him I'm from here. Well, not HERE, but just across the WI boarder. 

I don't know what my friend is thinking. I know these landlords are shady AF. He tried to say he can double the rent if M stays past 28 days. I'm pretty sure he can't. Then he tried to snag an air conditioner out of her house. Even if it is his, he can't come in without proper notice.

Put it on paper. Let the courts sort ya out. 

(1:32pm)

Once again my life is helping someone else. Which I'm happy to be in the service of, but my friend doesn't seem to want to help herself. She's kind of still in high school. If that makes sense. She's got boy troubles, and instead of taking care of her water heater, her landlords, her cats, instead nipping potential legal problems with her landlords in the bud, everything you help her with making the move go smoother gets a, "Oh well maybe". Maybe? What do you mean maybe? I'm telling you where to go, and when to go, to receive free ten minute legal advice when you get off work, and you say, "Maybe". NO, you fucking go. Get there! I'm doing this for you! Money for cat food, money for dog food, fixing your water heater, cleaning up after your pets, money for the electric bill, looking at apartments, packing up your house, now YOU do something for YOU. ... But she won't. 

I tell her what the Saint Croix courthouse advises she do regarding the illegal behavior of her landlords and M just "laughs out loud". End text.

At this point I'm simply working off my good karma. I can do this and that for M, and she can ignore responsibility and good advice, and at the end of it, we'll go separate ways once more, neither one of us the better.

But

Like I said

Good karma, if nothing else.

(9:04am)

The (husband) landlord came by at 7:27am this morning. "Coincidentally" the morning after not having hot water all weekend. He could have talked to M all weekend when she was home, but he choose 7:27am MOnday when she has to get ready for work. ASSHOLE. He wants harassed M to put in writing the exact day she's leaving her rental. WHAT? The landlords already dissolved her month to month lease agreement. The exact day would be November 24th as per the landlords rental dissolve. Then the landlords harassed M when she's going to pay the utility bill which they just gave her on October 27th. Utility companies always give two weeks to pay the bill. So far it's only been 6 days and he's bugging her for it. And that boys and girls is called HARASSMENT. Then the landlord wanted M to put on paper how much she's going to pay for the month of November. WTF! No, no, let ME do YOUR jobs for you. Assholes. And the answer to that question boys and girls is, "I'm not signing dick until I consult an attorney first."

In it to win it! 

(7:05am)

God bless the internet. We suddenly didn't have hot water for two days. Who knows why? I couldn't wait any longer for M to talk to her landlords so last night I made a post on Facebook and a handful of men came to my aid. With lots of picture and play-by-play steps of what to do, these fine men, from my home town, talked me though how to get the water heater working again. Thank you fellas. Men who know how to fix things are sexy AF. I learned electric water heaters have a re-start button, and pressure tanks can be re-started with a breaker switch. Dear moms and dads, teach your boys how to fix things. So hot. That's the real reason women in porn get it on with plumbers, because he can fix shit.

And so now there's hot water again. Hooray!

These strange men who helped me fix the water heater are better than my own family who have pretty much rendered themselves useless years ago. The last time a family member helped me fix something was ... never.

The hunt for a new place for M to live continues. 22 days.

Speak of the devil, M's (husband) landlord was just here at 7:27am. M's still sleeping. What the serious F. Motherfucker. What does he want? We didn't have hot water all weekend and NOW he comes by the morning after we fixed it? 

Interesting.

NOVEMBER 1, 2020

(5:56pm)

Love this guy. 

(11:47am)

Aaaand that’s a dude. 

🙄

Couldn’t tell, could you. 

(11:42am)

No, no, you’re right, she’s way prettier. 🐴 🤭 🐴

(11:17am)

Where can I get Boki's whole bacon?? I could cook so much with that. I love her. She’s so pretty. Come back Boki! Don’t leave us with these fat Southern slobs. 😫

(9:55am)

Aaaand the hot water is off again. It was on briefly last night. And now it's off again. Day 2 no hot water. Oh, it is SO ON. Not a good idea being racist towards M's house guest. Nope. Not in this political climate. NOT A GOOD IDEA TO BE RACIST.

(7:57am)

You made it!

I had to consult three different time pieces to get the correct time. Daylight savings, why? And then I'm still two hours off, California to Minnesota/Wisconsin, plus it's not daylight in this part of the country, this time of year, usually until 1pm. 

I have my routine pretty set. I'm always the first one in the house to wake up which I like. I don't know why. I just do. Quiet, I guess? I feed the cats, let the doggo out, clean up the living room, have my first cup of tea, let the doggo back in, eat a little something and take my multi vitamin. Soon, I'll have my second cup of tea. Presently, here I am at my laptop having my first morning Halls cherry cough drop. I like Halls cherry cough drops. Maybe because even though I quit smoking some 20 plus years ago (sigh) I subconsciously still want a cigarette. I miss smoking sometimes. I do. I absolutely hate the smell of second hand smoke on the day to day, but sometimes, in just the right setting, I miss smoking. Like now. I used to smoke and drink and write, back in the day. Like some lonely shitty loser writer with my 4am drink and crushed pack of (get this) Benson & Hedges DeLuxe Ultra Lights, or Marlboro Lights 100's. Meh. I have a new routine now - cats, dog, tea, cough drop. I like morning routine. 

M's landlord's turned the hot water back on. Turn it off again bitches and see what happens. I just can't give up the fight. I just can't. 

I've been watching a lot of depression era YOUTUBE cooking channels. I make depression era biscuits and everyone loves them. Only I didn't know they were "depression era" biscuits until recently. I just thought that's how you made biscuits. Self rising flour, heavy cream, pinch salt, stick of butter, kneed for 10 minutes, make little dough patties, 450 in the oven, 15 minutes, done. And they're great with everything. Biscuits & gravy. Alone with butter and jam. With chili. With everything. When food was simple because it had to be. Because it didn't need to be anything else. These days you need $100 per dish for nickle size portions. Who are some of you chefs cooking for? Americans went into financial fucking RUIN with this pandemic. Who are you bougie chefs cooking for now? 

I made three depression era dishes in the last few days (pictures posted in a few minutes they're on a different device) but you'd never know they were depression era dishes unless I told you. And they are absolutely delicious. 

Sweet potato dumplings 

Fried Shepherds Pie

Hasselback potatoes -- Created in 1953, post Depression Era, by Leif Ellison, Hasselbacken, Stockholm. Not by that FAT RACIST PIG Ree Drummond. Get your shit together, Food Network. Fact check some things before your print it. Ree Drummond is just one more racist pig taking credit for things she didn't create, like that other disgraceful fat southern slob Paula Deen. 

That butter sauce is pepper, garlic powder, thyme, salt, and a stick of butter.

Food Network, got you some real winners there dontcha.

Remember when girls had to be pretty to get on TV? 

Anywaayyy

I'm for the people. Always have been. Always will be. Look, I'm all for capitalism, good on you, but you obscenely rich motherfuckers need to PAY BACK the American people who made you. 

Escorting Trump out of the White House like Ree Drummond out of a Chik-fil-A. "Ma'am, you need to put that gallon drum of buffalo sauce DOWN and come outside with us." 

I'm beginning think Bobby Flay is a cuckold. Look at the nasty fat bitches he seems to lose to on Food Network? Either that, or someone high up on Food Network is a cuckold to fat greezy women. Gross.

And speaking of cuckolds....