No dick pics... from beyond the grave

"If you can walk on it, it's not broken."

SO not true. Some time during the course of my day I fractured my foot. I noticed a dull throbbing pain on the bottom of my foot, but I'm on my feet a lot, plus I run. I sometimes experience foot pain. I just ignore it. It's fine by morning.

The next morning however while getting out of bed, any applied pressure on the bottom of my foot was excruciating. A friend and sports doctor, came over, located where the pain in my foot was coming from and told me not to worry, stress fractures are common for runners or anyone on their feet a lot. He fit me for a foot brace and told me to stay off my foot for 4/5 days, take ibuprofen for the pain/swelling, and afterwards if I had to go anywhere continue wearing the brace for three weeks.

Three weeks came and went, a very long tedious and utterly boring three weeks, well now four weeks, and I'm finally up and walking around every day, albeit in tennis shoes. But at least I'm mobile.

No foot brace. Still no high heels.

While laid up I rejoined (that site).

Everyone I know is gone, or divorced, or traded partners, and it seems it's where single men, and many couples, now go when they tire of not getting laid on Tinder.

I've had some really good times from (those) types of websites. Though it was years ago. Really good times nonetheless. The only problem I encountered were people who didn't respect my space, my privacy. I come and go as I please. You come and go as you please. It's sex and (hopefully) naughty hot fun. We're just in it for the occasional good times. That's it.

And so being laid up, I had nothing but time and patience on my hands to look around, make small talk. I couldn't go anywhere. I had nowhere to be.

"Where I go I just don't know. I got to got to gotta take it slow. When I find my piece of mind. I'm gonna give you some of my good time." --know what I mean?

But, it was as I described, Tinder people.

What happened to the, "Let's meet for a drink and if we don't murder each other doing that, let's hit a swing club and fuck some couples." What happened to THOSE guys??

Long gone.

Now I have to go out on a date. We have to have 1:1 sex a bunch of times. And maybe then we can go to a swing club. Translation: We're never going to a swing club. Further translation: I just wasted all that time with a guy I met on a swing site to do non swinger things.

How boring.

"Well I just want to get to know you, build chemistry first."

Don't fall for it! It's a trap!

Luckily I'm a quick study.

Like this crazy single girl. She hooked up with a hot guy. Previous to their hook up, that hot guy made himself available to me. But as of yet nothing has happened between he and I. He told crazy girl his interest in me. Crazy girl contacts me. She insists on seeing some photos of me. I can tell she's fucking loony toons just by her photos and by the message she wrote me (which I snapped a screenshot of.) So I ignore her and delete her email. Desperate, crazy girl writes me again pleading me to have fun with her and him. Translation: because if she doesn't get me to play with them he might dump her which he plans on doing anyway. How am I doing so far?

Screen grab! You should read what she wrote me the second time. Desperate chick. Wow. Nuts.

Thank god I can walk again. Even if I couldn't, I would still wear my foot brace and hobble on down to the beach tonight.

I'd rather chill with cool people and drink a few beers under the ocean sky with them, than sext with some guy who refuses to take his pants off in front of the camera.

See ya!

not so fabulous --from beyond the grave

I'd like to meet a cool couple, I said. I haven't hung out with an open minded couple in a long time, I said. What's the harm in looking and seeing what's out there, I said.

And so...

Last weekend I (kinda sorta) connected with a few potential couples. Swapped some (very private) info in addition to private photos, and down the road who knows? Maybe something? Maybe nothing?

Among those photos is a picture I took for a dear friend involved in the Olympics. I took the photo offline few years ago, only recently re-posting it because I like it. It is among the photos I shared (privately) with these couples I kinda connected with online last weekend. With these four couples, to be more precise. And apparently at least one of these four couples is friends with a solo guy I have zero interest in. Let's call him "Zero".

And now... Zero... shows up... Again.

There's a reason I don't want Zero in my life. Is he hot? Yes. But he's also a little crazy. Not fun, crazy. Boiled bunny, crazy.

Over the past (estimated) five years, Zero has written me maybe four times. It's the same cut and paste email, three paragraphs long, all talking about himself. He doesn't address me in any way. He doesn't involve me in his email. He just writes about how amazing he is. --Sorry not interested. Not interested then. Not interested now. I've been politely silent about it, but then he had to take it one step further today.

I've never met Zero. I have no interest meeting Zero.

We all have our stuff. Our brand of odd. Zero's brand of odd, jibes with one of these couples brand of odd, and that's ok. It's just not my brand of odd --and his BC today is a perfect example as to why.

Unfortunately now I have no idea which couple shared my personal info with him, which leaves me back to the drawing board, square one, no potential couples.

Look...

I'm still interested meeting a cool open minded couple. Please don't share my personal info. it should go without saying, no??